What My 42 Year Old Self Would Say to My 32 Year Old Self

Here is a letter I wrote to myself. I did some time travel, as I worked through Marie Forleo’s Decade In Review challenge. It was truly eye-opening and allowed for so much perspective as I reflected on the past ten years.

So, this letter is to my future self—ten years from now:

Dear Lakia,

I would like you to know that you are right on the brink of greatness. You are afraid of it, but it is meant for you, so go ahead and lean into it.

You are a beautiful person and a stand out mother. How you nurture your family is truly remarkable. I love you. How you seek out the good in people and want to see a better day so you seek to be a better person.

I am concerned about you. I don’t want you to miss the best life you could have because you are too afraid to leave your comfort zone. What I’d like you to do is to engage all your moments. Then give yourself time to healthily use your imagination. Don’t live in your head. Live in the present moment.

Never forget that you are important and worthy. You are special. Do not wait for someone to tell you that you look nice. Tell yourself. See everyone around you as a conduit and a pointer to the Source. You have been gifted with all you need to seek the health and wellness you need.

You will not fit the mold of what society says you should be, but please don’t let that bother or discourage you. You are lovely and the specialness you have is what the world needs—not sameness. It’s okay for you to shine.

I love how you try. I love that you don’t give up. You are going to rock your thirties. Keep your self care and spiritual centeredness as the bedrock of your life and you will accomplish all that you desire. You will also experience all that you want.

Sometimes, in order to experience the specific beauty reserved for you, you must give up many other beautiful things. So give them up.

When you are sad, keep going. Keep moving. Sitting too long in a sad place can get you stuck. Action unsticks you.

I hope and pray that you will embrace your beauty and only accept God’s very best for you. You are so special and all the work you have put into music, your home, your family, and sharing your beauty with others is going to greatly improve your life and the world.

Do not let discouragement settle in. Never look back long enough to regret, but only to find pieces and tools to propel you forward. Advance toward the peace, joy, and love God has for you. Ultimately, wrong will fail and right prevail.

Cheers and Blessings to you,

Lakia

January 1, 2030

Once I Capture Thee In My Heart

Once I capture thee in my heart, Lord, move freely thereabout.

Within my mind and body too, all evil, do put out.

Bless your presence and your kindness and your willingness to stay.

With this poor and needy child whom you’ve kept her whole long way.

Oh, the blessedness of knowing you. Oh the depths of your sweet love.

To think I’d search in this wide world, for what can only be found above.

A short poem by Lakia Monet

This Time Last Year I Was Pregnant With Twins

As I sat drinking a cup of apple cider this evening, I couldn’t help but remember that this time last year, I was advised against enjoying the festive beverage.

Why, you ask? Well, you didn’t actually ask, but let’s just pretend you did. It’s because I was pregnant and I read that pregnant women should avoid unpasteurized drinks (whatever that means). All I knew is I didn’t want to get sick because of the lesser ability to ward off germs that is normal in pregnancy.

That cup of delicious cider got me to thinking. This time last year I was about 2 months pregnant with our twin girls, so I was adhering to the normal recommendations of food, drinks, and activities to avoid. Beyond that, were my physical limitations, which increased each day of the pregnancy. Getting dressed, showering, and walking even moderately long distances were difficult.

I remember I would get out of breath while talking on the phone at work or while talking to a client in person. It was embarrassing, because most people stopped me, mid sentence to ask, “Are you okay?” It’s interesting how so many of the changes happened so subtly that I didn’t even realize they were happening until someone would ask that question—“Are you okay?”

Now, pregnancy is a miraculous thing. After pregnancy with my twin girls, who are 7 months old, as of this writing, I’ve come to wonder about things I took for granted.

There are miracles all around me and abundant blessings in my life. What I’m realizing, after such a difficult pregnancy and challenging postpartum recovery, is that miracles are not always brought about painlessly or easily. They often require unwavering sacrifice and unprecedented pain.

So this time last year I was carrying two miracles towards life. This time last year, I also became a miracle to these two lives. So often as moms, we forget that even though the beautiful people around us are blessings to us, we are also blessings to them. We are their miracles, and conduits of love and goodness, safety and security.

So, what about you? This time last year what were you carrying that needed to be brought safely to life? Was it a baby? Or babies? A dream or vision? A hope that crept in unexpectedly? What sacrifice has that miracle required? And in what way have you been the miracle which that blessing needed to survive?

Until next time,

I’m sure that today I will be noticing all the things I can now do, eat, and tolerate, because I am on the other side of a miracle. Or two.

Inner Beauty: Reflections of the Laundry Room Sage

More than ten years ago, a friend gifted me a quote book that now sits up on the counter of our laundry room. There are 365 quotes—one for each day of the year. It’s nice to walk into the laundry room and take in the quote of the day. Here was today’s:

”For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.

For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.

For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.

For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day.

For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.

People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you will find one at the end of each of your arms.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself and the other for helping others.”

~ Sam Levenson

I think I’ll have to start going to the laundry room at the start of the day more often.

Until next time, let your inner beauty shine.

When You Find a Baby’s Sock in Your Pocket

Of course I thought I saw something bulging from my back pocket this morning.

But when I reached inside and smoothed the inner lining of said pocket, I was convinced the bulge had gone down…enough.

Well, when I got to work and saw the familiar bulge making it look like there was a wad of trash just hanging out in my pants, I tried to smooth out my pocket again when, there! I discovered it wasn’t a case of a crumpled pocket at all, but a cute little sock. A pink one.

I forget who had this sock on last, but I’m sure it made its way into my pocket the other day out of sheer necessity…cough cough—desperation. The thought brings on a tender smile.

As I hold this sock in my hand, I give myself permission to be sentimental and to marvel at the size of it. How can feet this small have made such a huge imprint in the world already?

Our twin girls have made their way into our hearts—my husband’s, their two year old sister’s, and mine. And all their family and friends who have met them. And the family and friends they have yet to meet.

It just goes to show me that as humans we tend to think it’s our actions that define our worth, when actually it’s our existence alone.

Now how’s that for making a baby’s sock super deep for no reason, other than: we need a little deep in our lives every once in a while.

Until next time, I’ll be checking my pockets before work from here on out.

What This Tired Mama Needs Right Now More Than Anything--Advent

All the Advent Vibes Right Now

Star and Angels Gave the Sign

I literally just got all the Christmas vibes while searching for the perfect photo to capture the heartbeat of this post. None exists, so I just chose this one with the string of stars. And a wood background.

Star and angels gave the sign…

They looked up and saw a star, shining in the east…

Oh come, Oh come, Emmanuel…

Tears of pure joy and longing. And rest in the shear fact that He is indeed with us. The star and the angels gave a sign that night. The night of His birth. What signs can we look for now? What signs of Emmanuel are lingering and waiting for us to notice, this solemn and joyous Advent Season?

I confess, I don’t know exactly. I’m just processing this. What I do know is that Advent means coming. And Christmas celebrates the coming of Christ.

His coming was an act of love. Emmanuel—God with us. He never left. And in fact His Advent was the embodiment of the Love that wants us and so comes to us and then remains with us. For God has always been with his beloved creation. But now, in Christ, is the flesh and blood evidence of that always-near presence. God in the flesh.

My soul cries an ‘Amen” to that. And I raise a toast in celebration. And breathe a humble, “Thank you.”

Lord, would you allow me to see you today? Your presence as it abides with me and rests within me by your Spirit? Would you allow me to truly experience you? And your deep loving hereness and nearness?

And to you, dear reader, how will you search for Emmanuel afresh today? May you see Him and feel Him. He longs to be with you. To sit with you. To welcome you to His table to sup. To dine. To chat. To chum. And to warm you with his embrace.

Now to that, this tired and many times sad mama can smile and utter a hearty, “Amen.”

Until next time,

May we find each other resting in His presence.

His coming was an act of love. Emmanuel—God with us.